Friday, January 23, 2009

Too much change-Part 2

I spent Thursday blowing through things at work, getting things accomplished, preparing for our transitions, tackling projects that had piled up while things are slow during Chinese New Year. I had our budget set out for the next few months and things are looking great. Cooper is in the care of his Daddy and then one of the most genuine, loving, wonderful people I've ever met. My working mother guilt is quelled for the time being because I know he's extremely well taken care of.

Then I get the call from Steven saying they cut his hours and he will now be working days. We had a sneaking suspicion something like this might happen but I didn't really believe it-he's been working nights for the entire 9 years we've been together. How is that possible? What will we even do? Will we even know how to act around eachother in the evenings? Not to mention the paycut for not having a night differential.

The worst part is how this all affects Coopy...not only will his schedule change drastically from the toddler night shift of sleeping 9 pm to 10 am, but we will have to find a new caregiver situation for him-a daunting task as any other working mother knows. This will also lead to his bedtime being much earlier, thus decreasing my time with him, which makes me the saddest. We had a good little routine going there.

So now we're once again in the market for a new sitter/daycare, so if anyone has any leads, let me know!

I'm allowing myself a few days of being whiny about this, and then I will suck it up and move on. We are still very blessed and appreciative of what we have, just concerned about the logistics of it all. Things like this happen for a reason and we will make it through. This economy is really hitting home-seems like everyone is affected by it now.

Meanwhile all three of us have been on the verge of being sick this week.

Meanwhile didn't we get a new president or something of extreme importance this week?

Too much change-Part 1

Just last week I actually had the thought that everything was in its right place, we are so blessed and fortunate to have the life we have. I still feel this way, but not so much the 'in its right place' part.

Do you remember this chart from school? Well, I believe I've run through each and every one of these feelings this week.
Emotion Chart Pictures, Images and Photos

I had a feeling of foreboding, this internal stress that was eating away inside of me all weekend-I knew something was wrong. I kept telling Steven there would be big changes at MY work this week and my nerves were already fried.

Monday started with a serious bang. With the popping in every few minutes of coworkers telling me who had been let go, and the list seemed never-ending. People you never would have imagined losing their jobs and some who half expected it. My closest confidant was home sick, my stoic boss seemed frazzled, and the rest of us were left feeling like sitting ducks. I was literally shaking and everytime someone came by with new news I expected it to be someone leading me to the chopping block. When my boss was taken behind closed doors by our big boss, I knew that it was one of our turns. My single mother co-worker called me and we voiced our fears, knowing that the inevitable was about to happen. She said she didn't know what she'd do if it was her because she had no help to raise her daughter and herself. I then went to the restroom and on my way back, I saw her waiting for an elevator and she said quietly "Its me, they called me down to HR." I was dumbstruck and didn't know what to say. I naively waited for her to walk back by my office so I could offer a hug or at least say goodbye, but she never did and I realized they wouldn't let her come back up when I saw someone walk by with her purse.

Word was that everyone who would be gone was gone before lunch so there was a small sense of relief, but you could see the sadness and exhaustion in the remaining people's eyes. After lunch I was called in to talk about my new responsibilities and other changes. And when I say changes, I'm talking CHANGES. While this is a great opportunity for me and some of my other talented peers to advance along with exploring and learning different categories-its all quite an adjustment for all of us, but we welcome it. I will no longer have my great boss and can't help but feel mournful for all of the co-workers I lost but I do recognize the huge blessing this is for me especially in times like these.

For about a day and a half, this led to another false feeling of everything being in its right place....

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Hilarious ad

I'm not a big internet video watcher, but a friend at work showed me this one and its great, you have to watch it!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Boots of a different feather still flock together

On my feet!
While at the water cooler after lunch, I looked down at my right foot to see that I had worn my black boots with stitching down the middle. Not liking these boots much I was surprised at my choice to wear them. Then, I looked at the left foot and realized that I was wearing one of my new boots on that foot. Gotta love getting ready while holding your clingy toddler and running late!

Lethargy and Blessings

I've been stumbling through the week thus far feeling zombie-esque, disconnected, and unable to concentrate as well as usual...with no clear reason why. Isn't it funny that when you feel this way you can't muster up enough brainpower to figure out what the cause is and thus can't figure out a solution. Maybe its a sinus infection? Maybe the onset of a cold? Maybe the weather changes are taking their toll? Or could it be the minimal exercise so far this week? Could it be the bag of yummy cookies and goodies from my sweet friend (shoutout S.H.) that I practically ate in one sitting? Probably a combination of all of these things and I imagine the general consensus right now.

This morning I had to stop for gas, usually a non-event. I got out in the upper 20 something degree weather and got the pump going but couldn't handle being out in the cold so I sat in my passenger seat and waited. There were hundreds of birds around the Exxon sign just flying around in what seemed an aimless dance. This being our coldest day of the year so far, I was baffled at the fact that these birds weren't headed South like their cohorts I've seen lately. I guess some do stick around seeing as we are relatively pretty far South, but how cold is too cold for a bird? I'm sure it depends on the bird and the wind, and who knows how many other variables. Maybe a bird expert will happen upon my blog and answer these questions for me.

Anyways, as much as I knew in my heart that these specific birds (grackles) could surely tolerate the weather or they wouldn't be there, I couldn't help myself from wanting to round them up and put them in my car and keep them warm. I sat there and pictured myself grabbing handfuls of them in my arms and placing them in the backseat and all of us sitting comfortably together in the warmth.

Inevitably that led me to think of the fact that there could be children out in weather this cold or colder and how horribly sad that is. I can't and don't want to imagine the unbearable yearning they and their mothers must have for warmth in the cold like this. Naively, I'd like to believe that really this isn't happening anywhere in the world, but I know better. Its nice to have the option to take such a painful thought or feeling and push it away because it doesn't affect me directly but many people don't have that luxury....and I'm still trying to figure out a way to somehow help them all!

The long and short of this story is that this cold weather and those crazy birds out there in it took me out of my little sheltered world for a minute and made me remember that having a home- with heat and cozy blankets and soft beds for my family is such an incredible blessing. Maybe God hit me with this sluggishness so I'd slow down and realize how truly, exceptionally wonderful my simple little life is.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Shantell's Bday!!

What a fun night! Though those who are still out partying every weekend may have considered our night out lame, but it was a blast for me and probably the latest I've been out (without baby in tow) since my boy was born. I love meeting new people, and Shantell's friends were all such fun and intersesting women that I'm so glad I got to meet or see again.

One in particular that I'm somewhat selfishly glad showed up was Erika, who is an amazingly creative person who makes these beautiful cakes. This is the one she made for Shantell which was dark chocolate with ganache, rasberry, etc. along with the adorable fondant margarita glasses and limes. It was absolutely delicous! Seriously, anyone reading this should check out her website HERE and look at the pictures of some that she has about talent. I can hardly ice a cupcake well, so I'm a bit jealous. :)

After dinner we weighed going out to a bar or going shopping kid-free, and guess what us party animals chose? Shopping! And what did we buy? Mainly stuff for our kids. But we were out really late, so we're still hard-core.

Congrats also to Stephanie, Jeremy, and guys have such a sweet family and I'm so happy I got to be there to help surprise you guys after such a wonderful experience!!!! Jesse is lucky to have such great parents.